Monday, March 2, 2009

What do you call it?

An "anniversary?" It's been a year. March 6, 2008, to be exact. That week I found a lump. No, not me. This is probably nothing. But I make 2 appointments: one with my regular doc and one with the mammogram people. Those guys give me any appointment time I want when I say I found a lump. Still, I am not freaking out.

The doc says could be just a cyst, but you should go get a mammogram. Yeah, says I. Got an appointment. I had a whole 24 hours between these 2 appointments to just putz around and think it was just a cyst.

Then the mammogram. She looks poker faced and says, we'll go ahead and just check this with the ultrasound. Ultrasound lady did not bother with poker face. "IT'S CANCER." WTF? I could not speak because I was lying down and the tears were all pouring back into my throat. And, because, hey it is just a cyst, I was at this appointment all by my freaking self. She tried to hold my hand, but she was pretty much a gadget/machine person, not a comfort the idiot person.

Well, that was my week 1 year ago. And I wonder why I cannot get my head around work this week. Think I'll go scream now.

5 comments:

Mango Power Girl said...

that is really scary! i hope you are doing better now?

Patty said...

Congrats!!! I am happy for you!!
(saw your tweet)

I am sad it was your RT who gave you the news, completely uncool of him/her, and I believe unethical. Regardless, the good news is that you are on your feet, thriving and surviving!!! Keep on, Attitude is Everthing!

PattyF
19 year Br.CA Survivor
LiveSTRONG Army Leader
Portland, OR
follow me: @ResumeEMT

cancersucks said...

One year cancerversary is a weird day...you are happy you are alive but you are so mad at cancer...and you can remember every detail of your diagnosis like it was yesterday. I usually take a "feel sorry" for myself day and climb in bed with tivo, wine, a bag of chips and those crazy reality shows. Staying busy on the other hand helps, too. I'll be thinking of you.

throwslikeagirl74 said...

I like cancersucks' idea of a "feel sorry" day. I think I might do that next year. Happy cancerversary :) Every year still on the planet is a good year. Grins.

Seattle said...

Congratulations on your first anniversary. My mom celebrates 3 years May 10. We are so thankful for every day.